


Like a Moth

by FanOfRomance



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 04:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17994836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanOfRomance/pseuds/FanOfRomance
Summary: This is going to be an ongoing story to show the progress of Spencer and Derek's relationship as the two explore their feelings towards each other.





	Like a Moth

“C’mon pretty boy, use those feet!” Derek laughed as he pulled me along the hallways of the hotel. He was the only thing keeping me from collapsing on the floor and falling asleep. We’d both had a few too many at the bar and now he was stepping in as the team caretaker to get me to my room. Considering he was the only one tall enough to hold me up with my arm over his shoulder it made sense that he be the one to walk me to my room.

“I am, Morgan, they just aren’t cooperating.” I laughed quietly at hearing the way my words were slurring together. I wasn’t used to being drunk but I kind of liked the feeling. I could almost feel the dopamine being released into my brain. He laughed too, rolling his eyes and using the hand on my waist to stand me up taller. When had I started to slouch? I laughed again and tried to focus on walking, leaning against Derek more.

“You sure this is your room?” He asked as we stopped in front of a hotel door. Somehow, I had instructed him here through the many changing hallways while stumbling and struggling to stay up.

“Morgan, I remember everything I read. Yes, this is mine.” I reached into my pocket, fumbling around to find my hotel key card. Finally, I found it and swiped it against the card reader a few times, my brows furrowing in confusion. “It’s not working...why isn’t it working Morgan?” He let go of me slowly and held back a laugh as he took the card from me, flipped it the opposite way, and slid it through the key reader. I watched as the light turned from red to green and the lock clicked open. I poked my lips out in a pout, embarrassed slightly that I hadn’t thought of that.  
“I knew that...”  
Derek just shook his head and opened the door, putting a large hand on the small of my back and guiding me into my room.  
“Sure kid, suure.” He smiled and reached up to tussle my hair, closing the door behind him and walking towards the bathroom with a slight stumble. “Is it cool if I use your bathroom?” His words weren’t as slurred as mine but I could tell that he had as many drinks, if not more, than I had.  
I nodded and stood there, watching as he closed the bathroom door behind him. I liked Derek, he had become a good friend and co-worker. I admired him quite a bit and found myself wanting to spend more time with him. With cautious steps I walked across the maroon colored carpet to my hotel bed. I looked down at my clothes and groaned quietly to myself, not wanting to bend down and take my shoes off or any of the steps to get ready for bed. I flopped down on the mattress with a grunt and the room stopped spinning some but when I closed my eyes, it felt like I was floating on water. “Ohh...” it wasn’t unpleasant, but it felt strange. I laid there for a moment and tried to will myself to lay still without the floating sensation. It didn’t stop but I couldn’t make myself get up. “Morgan!” I called out, dragging his name out in a way a child would when calling for a parent to help them.  
“Yeah?” I jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, having not heard a toilet flush or the bathroom door open. He was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom watching me suffer, an amused expression on his face. How long had he been watching? “You don’t drink often do you, kid?”

I huffed slightly and muttered under my breath, “No, you know I don’t. I just...was enjoying myself with my friends.” I felt my cheeks warm up but not from the alcohol. Truth be told, I had let myself get caught up in Morgan’s excitement to have a little fun. He was so charming and smooth talking, completely opposite from me and I found it hard to say no to him. He had bought shots of liquor for everyone on a few occasions and I had a couple of mixed drinks before that. Now I felt like just laying where I was and not getting up for a few days.  
“You gonna be okay? You gonna sleep with your shoes on?” He asked with his arms folded and his eyes slightly squinted. The way his arms bulked up even more when he crossed them made me feel almost self-conscious of my own arms. Maybe not self-conscious...but overly conscious of his. I was just glad I had chosen to wear a long sleeve shirt.

“Eh....I think so heh. If I were to try and take my shoes off right now, there’s a high chance I’ll fall over and won’t be able to get back up.” I said with my eyes closed, adding as I raised a finger in the air, “And I’m not going to kick them off because that will scuff them.”  
“Wow!” Morgan laughed a little and shook his head, “Here.” He walked over and knelt in front of me, untying my shoes with a smirk on his lips. His pink, soft-looking lips. I blushed as I watched him taking off my shoes, “Morgan! You don’t have to do that.” I tried to sit up but failed, falling back on the firm bed and grunting. I laid there silently as he slid my shoe slowly from my foot, becoming more and more flustered. “This is embarrassing, Morgan...”

“Pfft hush I’m just helping you out, seeing how I handle my alcohol better than you.” He grinned up at me as he worked on my removing my other shoe. “What size do you wear anyway?” He asked, peeking into my shoe before starting to take off the other one just as gently as the first.

“I don’t see why that matters? Morgan really, you don’t have to do this.” It was almost intimate the way he was taking them off, so slowly and carefully. It was starting to make the warmth in my cheeks travel downward.  
Oh no.  
“O-Okay, thank you, Morgan.” I said as he set down my other shoe, sitting up on my elbows and pushing my knees together some. He chuckled and looked up at me, his smile fading a little. “You ok, kid?” He was swaying slightly, and I could tell that he was more drunk than he sounded. “Not gonna puke, are you?”

“No, I just think I wanna go to bed...” with you I thought to myself without even meaning to do so. I flushed more and pushed myself up hard as he stood at the same time with a concerned look on his face, about to say something. That is until I fell forward with the momentum of the push from my bed right into his arms.

“Easy Reid, damn!” He laughed, grabbing me around my waist with one of his strong arms, his other hand holding onto my shoulder to steady me. I laughed a little with him even though my heart was pounding, and I felt like he could feel the heat from my face. I guess that was the good thing about being drunk, it was hard to be too serious. I froze when I realized how close we were, my face still pink with embarrassment as I stood still in his grasp. “.... you’re cute when you’re drunk.”

The word ‘cute’ being used to describe me threw me off. I scoffed a little and shook my head, “Nice one, Morgan...” I didn’t try to get out of his hold or move away though. Truth be told it felt nice to be held by someone, it had been a while and I was going to enjoy the few seconds of being close to another person.

“I mean, hell...you’re cute when you’re sober too.” He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite place at that moment. I returned his stare, opening my mouth to speak but finding no words. He smiled and slid both his hands down and around my waist. I felt strange, my stomach was starting to twist into knots and I felt a bit light headed. Next thing I knew, I was falling back onto the bed and Morgan was laying over me looking down into my eyes.

“Morgan...? What are you doing?” A nervous flutter went through my stomach as I looked up at him, trying hard to shift my body so that he couldn’t feel the growing arousal between my legs. I couldn’t help it, he was a very attractive man with an extremely charismatic personality. Plus, with how he was looking at me, any sane person would be aroused.

“Reid....” He muttered quietly, reaching up with one hand and running the palm of it over my hair to push it from my face. I could feel my face warming up and my breathing becoming heavy and quick.

“Morgan...?” I responded under my breath, brows pulled up in the middle questioningly. This was strange, Morgan had only ever shown friendly interest in me before. Why was he looking at me like he wanted to...

He began leaning down, bringing his face closer to mine, so close I could taste his breath. It was intoxicating. His lips were just an inch away from mine, his nose brushing over mine slowly. “Spencer...” I felt his fingers curling gently in my hair and his chest was almost flush against mine. There was no way he couldn’t feel my heart pounding at the way he said my name...

“Derek...” If I hadn’t had the liquid courage I would have pushed him off me or told him to stop. Instead, I leaned up, closed the gap between our lips and we kissed. We kissed, and it felt really good, my eyes fluttering closed as we molded our lips together.

When he felt me begin to kiss back, he took my thighs in his hands and spread them before kneeling on the bed and getting between them. “Mmh c’mere...” next thing I knew both of his hands were on my hips and pulling me by them, so my rear end was flush against his lap. And something was pushing against me, something hard...something big.

“Derek...” I flushed and spread my legs a bit more to make room for him, arms still by my head where they had fallen after our kiss. “What are we doing...?” I whispered quietly as though someone would hear me. “We could get in trouble o-or someone will find out and...” He only looked back down at me and grinned before leaning down and wrapping his arms under my waist. With a quick movement, he flipped us around so that I was on his lap as he sat on my bed.

“Stop thinkin’ so much, pretty boy...just do what feels good.” He began unbuttoning my shirt, working his way down until my entire torso was exposed to the cool air of the hotel room.

“Ah...oh my god...” It was like fire and ice when he ran his hands up and down my sides, his lips placing soft kisses all over my neck, collarbone, and along my jawline.

“Wanted to do this for so long...” he murmured, leaning up to kiss my lips again while simultaneously sliding my shirt off my arms. I could feel goosebumps appearing up and down my arms causing me to shudder and wrap them around Morgan’s neck.

“Really?” I furrowed my brows some in disbelief, breaking the kiss to look at him. “You’re not just drunk a-and wanting sex...?” My fingers were interlaced behind his neck as I looked him in the eyes. Something about this seemed too good to be true. Such a muscular, handsome, charming man couldn’t possibly want anything to do with someone like me; the complete opposite.

“Maybe...maybe not.” He grinned that playful smile and I had to return it. If this was a one-time thing, I wanted to enjoy it. I leaned back and put my hands on his shoulders, pressing my ass against his lap in a sort of grinding motion, feeling the bulge beneath me and groaning. My fingers slid under his shirt hem, pulling it up and off him a little clumsily. I had to stop for a moment and admire his build. I knew he was in good shape, but I couldn’t have imagined just how much so. His abs were very defined, and his chest looked so firm. I took a moment to run the tips of my fingers over his muscular build, slowly trailing them over his chest, unable to hide the arousal on my face as I did so. I put my hands on his shoulders and we shared another kiss. This time, it was more than just our lips. His tongue swiped over my lip and I groaned out once more, returning the lick before pushing him down onto his back. “Fuck yes, pretty boy.” he gasped, his hands starting to wander and roam over my skin, my own holding his face gently as the kiss deepened. Our tongues slid around each other, receding back into our mouths as we kissed with only our lips before sliding back out to explore each other’s mouth again.

“Derek...” I moaned softly, feeling him pushing his hips up into me and gripping at my hips. “I’m guessing you want to um top?” I asked hesitantly, sitting up straight and looking down at him with my head tilting slightly. I would be surprised if he wanted otherwise, he just seemed like the more...dominant type.

“Oh, uh yeah heh. Never really talked about this before. Um yeah if you...don’t mind?” He said, sounding awkward for the first time ever since I’ve known him.

“I’ve done this before so...no I don’t mind.” I smiled sheepishly and could feel my face heating up again. “Did you uh want to use protection?” His brows raised in surprise and I had to laugh a little, “What? The BAU doesn’t know everything about me... so.... protection?”

“Do you?” He asked, leaning back on his elbows while looking up at me. I knew I was clean, we have to take physicals often, so I felt comfortable not using a condom if it was ok with him.

“I’m fine without one. Are you...clean?” I flushed but this time from worry about how he would react. Sometimes people would get upset when the topic was brought up. I just worried he’d get offended and this whole thing would come to a screeching halt.

Instead, he grinned and reached down to start undoing my buckle. “The only thing dirty about me, baby boy, is my mind and my mouth.” I sat up straighter and let him get my pants undone, standing and letting them slide off my legs and around my ankles. Standing there in only my briefs, I could feel goosebumps traveling up my thighs from the sudden coldness. I felt strange, getting naked in front of my co-worker and close friend, I felt the need to cover myself back up until I realized how Morgan was looking at me. “Damn...Spencer.” I flushed at the way he breathed my name, like I was something amazing to gaze upon. It made my face grow warm as I stood in front of him, completely naked for the first time.

“Your turn...” I gave him a playful look, stepping out of my pants and kneeling down in front of him slowly. I could see his expression change from excitement to nervous curiosity as my hands started working at his belt. I felt my hands shaking as I fumbled with his pants button and my stomach felt warm and fluttery. After what felt like an hour, I had his pants undone and could feel his erection pushing against his boxers to be released. “Lift?” I said with a little laugh, tugging at his pants and trying to get them off.

Instead, he stood up and did what I had done earlier and shimmied out of them, letting them fall to his ankles. I swallowed hard, seeing the tent in his underwear and looking up at him from my position on my knees. “Go ahead, pretty boy...” he grinned and put a hand in my hair, those long, strong fingers curling in it for just a moment before letting go and dropping to his side.

My heart started to beat faster as I reached up and pulled his boxes off of his hips to join his pants on the floor. Again, I was dumb struck by how perfect of a human being he was, Penelope was right by calling him a ‘caramel god’. His cock was just as perfect, thick and just the right length for my taste. I wrapped my hand around the base of it and leaned up, too drunk to be hesitant. The moan that came from his lips as soon as I wrapped my mouth around his head made me look up, sucking around the tip before pulling off with an audible pop.

“Ohh keep goin’ kid....” he breathed, looking down and putting his hand on the back of my head again. Something about him urging me on sent a tingling sensation throughout my body and I quickly obliged. My mouth was too dry to go straight into it though so instead I began licking slowly up from the bottom side up his cock and on the sides of it as well. Not to brag but I’ve always been told I was very skillful when it came to oral sex. Once the length of his dick was slick with my spit, I took his head into my mouth once more only this time I took more than just the tip. His fingers tightened in my hair and gripped it slightly as I took about half the length of his cock into my mouth.

“Holy....fuck, Spence...” I could feel his cock throb inside my mouth as he spoke. He must have been trying to be patient because one second, he would be pushing my head slightly and the next he was loosening his grip. I teasingly pulled my head back, sliding his cock out of my mouth before pushing it back in quickly. Excitement was bubbling up in my chest as I elicited such sensual sounds from his mouth. I wanted to make him cry out and moan and curse more; those sounds gave me a sort of sexual satisfaction. I slowly pushed his cock further into my mouth, feeling it hit the back of my throat before curving it enough to push it into my throat.

“Shit!” He suddenly pushed my head forward and made his cock go even deeper, making my nose touch the curly black hairs at the base of his cock. Tears came to my eyes involuntarily and I gagged around his length. “Mmh! Fuck... sorry bout that...” He said, taking he pressure off my head and letting me pull back for air. His fingers remained in my hair and he gently pet it in an apologetic manner.

“It’s okay, kinda liked it...” I flushed as I admitted that, biting my lip then asking quietly, “Do it again?”

His eyes flashed with arousal and he grinned some, “Spencer....didn’t know you were so dirty.” His hand went back into my hair and he gripped it hard, making me gasp and grip his thighs with both my hands. His cock slid back into my mouth and I bobbed my head up and down a few times before letting him push my head all the way down again. I didn’t gag as hard as the first time and he groaned out loudly, pulling my head off and then pushing back down. After doing so a few times, and letting out a string of cuss words, he pulled out and pulled me up to stand. Suddenly, my feet were off of the ground and I was being tossed onto the bed like a rag doll.

“Ohh!” I gasped as my rear end hit the bed and grinned a little bit, watching as Derek crawled onto the bed like a predator slowly coming after its prey. Instinctively, I put my knees together as he got closer, laying on my back and lifting my hips up as his hands jerked my briefs off.

“I just knew you were a brief guy heh. They look too good on you for you to not wear em.” He smirked, dropping them onto the ground before crawling back between my legs. I really felt exposed now, face hot and ears just as red as he took my thighs in his hands and spread them again so that my most private area was shown to him. He slowly got down onto his stomach, propping himself up with his forearms before lowering his head down towards my cock. I propped myself up onto my elbows and watched as his tongue slowly slid up the underside of it, flicking the tip and sending a shiver up my spine.

“Ohhh Derek... you... have you?” I stammered and tried to get my words to form but found it hard when looking into his warm, dark brown eyes. I could never understand why brown eyes weren’t more romanticized. His eyes in the dimly lit hotel room were the same color as a fresh cup of coffee and just as comforting. My thoughts were interrupted as he began sucking my cock only this time he bobbed his head up and down it without hesitation. “Oh! Ngh... Derek!” I gasped, pushing my hips up slightly and rolling my eyes back as I dropped onto the bed completely. For some reason the thought never occurred to me that a guy who had never given another man oral could be so good at it. My hands struggled to find something to grip, so used to grabbing onto someone’s hair. Instead, I curled my fingers into the blanket and tried not to buck my hips up into Derek’s mouth as he made me moan and writhe at his mercy. My ecstasy was stopped suddenly as he pulled his mouth off of my cock. I looked down with an involuntary whine, the alcohol in my system making it hard to control what sounds do leave my mouth.

“Easy, pretty boy...” Derek gave me a crooked, mischievous smile as his hands gripped my thighs. I couldn’t help but notice how thin they looked in his hold. The thought was forgotten as he pushed my thighs up so that my knees were almost to my chest, exposing my rear to him even more. I reached up and held onto my legs to keep them from getting tired and bit my lip a little; the anticipation was killing me. It was almost like he knew it, too. He began teasingly placing light, warm kisses onto my thighs, breathing his hot breath onto my skin in between kisses. My chest was rising and falling as I panted quietly while he trailed his lips slowly down one thigh, reaching the inner part of my cheek and then moving to my other thigh. His mouth finally got to my hole, warm air rolling over it before feeling his hot tongue licking it directly.

“Ngh...ohhh yes....” I gasped, eyes closing as I laid still and enjoyed the sensation of his tongue lapping slowly at my hole. “Spit...lots of spit.” I managed to say between my panting, letting go of my left leg and resting it on his back so I could stroke myself. I gasped in surprise as I felt him actually spit onto my hole. “Yes!” I said softly, letting go of my cock and bringing my hand up to my mouth to spit onto my fingertips. “Here let me help too.” I reached down when he pulled his mouth away and rubbed my hole in little circles to spread the spit out.

“Oh damn. Yes, kid, fuck.” he looked up at me as I looked down at him and I could recognize a look he had. It was a look that meant that he had an idea. “I wanna see you finger yourself.”

I glanced away and gave a soft, nervous chuckle. “Oh, um alright. I can do that.” My hole was slick already but to be on the safe side, I put my finger into my mouth and put a generous amount of saliva on it before moving it back to my entrance. After rubbing it a bit more I slowly pushed my finger tip in and watched Derek’s face for his reaction. He had a curious, almost focused expression as he watched me push my finger in more and more until my knuckle was against my rear end. I moaned quietly and closed my eyes as I slid my finger in and out of my hole slowly. My cheeks got hot as I imagined what his cock would feel like in me, moaning his name under my breath. Which must’ve set him off because he sat up quickly and spit on his hand, slathering his length with it.

“Take your finger out, I need you...” he whispered as his sat on his knees stroking his hard, thick cock. The way he said that made a nice, warm feeling go through my body. He needed me. What a feeling. I slowly slid my finger out and resumed holding both legs back as Derek held onto his shaft and pressed its head to my hole.

“Please...please Derek.” I begged softly, feeling him slowly applying more and more pressure before my hole spread and let his tip push in a bit. It felt so good, the slight ache of it spreading sent chills up my spine as he pushed in more and more. This was really happening, I was about to get fucked by one of the most attractive members of our team. Hell, one of the most attractive people I’ve ever met. It was almost too good to be true, maybe I was dreaming? That thought left as quickly as it came when I felt his head make it into my hole completely. “Ah!” I moaned and hooked my ankles together behind his back while still keeping my ass raised for him.

“Oh fuck, Spencer. Yes, kid, you want this? Want my cock, pretty boy?” I looked up at the question and nodded my head quickly. I reached my arms up and hung on to his neck, the feeling of only his head pushed inside making me want him so desperately.

“Yes, yes please. Please, Derek!” The whimpering voice that I heard sounded like a stranger. I had never had sex with someone while drunk. This was a whole new experience for me and I was finding out that it’s hard to control what sounds you made in this kind of situation. After a few minutes of him pushing in and pausing so I could adjust, his hips finally pushed against my ass and I felt completely full. “Ohh...god, you feel so good.”

I looked up into his eyes as he leaned over me, warmth going through me at the way he was looking. “Me? Fuck, your ass is so tight. I think I need a second.” He chuckled and smiled down at me with an almost tender expression. I felt like I was under a magnifying glass as he slowly trailed his eyes over my face then locking eyes with me once more. “You’re so damn handsome.”

I breathed out a laugh and pulled his head down to me, leaning up and kissing his lips warmly. He was being so sweet, and I was really starting to like it. “You’re one to talk, Mr. caramel god.” I said against his lips, sucking on his lower lip for a second. This was nice, feeling his cock inside of me and having his whole frame surrounding me as we laid there. His eyes slowly opened as the kiss ended, looking into mine and smiling some. “What?” I whispered, unable to help smiling back at him.

“Nothin’...I’m good now, are you okay?” He asked softly, already starting to pull out at a painstakingly slow pace. I nodded and let go of his neck, watching him sit up straight and grab a hold of my thighs again. Soon enough, he was pulling out of me so that just his tip was in and then pushing back into me fully. My eyes rolled back as I closed them, and a moan escaped my lips. He did this a few times, slowly driving me crazy until finally I couldn’t handle it. I wanted more, I needed more or else I was just going to feel the stinging pain instead of the pleasure.

“Derek, m-more, please, I need you to move more.” I said between breaths, grabbing the blanket and moving my hips involuntarily to try and get more movement. Without a word, he nodded and started to push his thick cock in and out of me quicker, hips thrusting it deep into me and sending pleasure throughout my body. “Oh! Yes! Fuck!” This was amazing. Derek was fucking me better than I’d ever been before, his expression was so focused as he did so too. It was such a turn on, even when they were working, and he had the same kind of expression. He leaned down and grabbed my hips firmly, digging his thumbs into my hip bones slightly while capturing my mouth as I moaned and kissing me deeply. Our tongues slid together as he pounded my ass, groaning into my mouth. I could feel my cock aching from neglect and I had to reach down and wrap my hand around it to start rubbing it. I could already feel myself getting close, he was hitting all the right places with his cock and the earlier foreplay had pushed me almost to the edge.

“Gonna cum for me?” His voice was so gravely and strained, almost like he was close as well. I nodded and moaned out a ‘yes’ unable to say anything else. He gave a throaty moan, his thrust getting a bit harder. I could feel myself slipping, my stomach clenching a bit as I felt the familiar sensation that occurred right before relief.

“Oh f...fuck! Derek, I-I oh...” I reached up quickly and held onto his shoulders, body tensing up as I came in spurts on my stomach, a bit sticking to his as well. “Ohhh god...” I moaned out, looking up at him and seeing the excitement flash in his eyes.

“In?” He asked between pants, again I only nodded, wrapping my legs around his back as he pressed his chest against mine and buried his face in my neck. I felt a sharp pain as he bit it, but it felt so good I just wrapped my arms around his shoulder tighter. He pulled his head back enough to kiss our lips together as he continued rocking into me. I couldn’t believe how good this felt, my mind was clouded in a blissful state. The kiss broke, and he moaned out loudly, “Fuck...!” His pace slowed, and I felt the insides of my ass grow warmer.

“Mmh yes, Derek...” I whispered, hugging him around his shoulders and placing soft kisses to his neck and jawline. We laid there for a while, his cock still buried deep inside of me and our hearts beating against our chests. After a few minutes, I felt his breathing getting soft and slow and I had to chuckle quietly. “Derek? Are you awake?” I smiled as he nuzzled his head against my collar bone in response.

“I’m awake heh. Just....very fuckin’ relaxed.” He said quietly, sitting up slowly and looking at me for a long moment, long enough to make my cheeks flush red. I felt words trying to form but my mouth wasn’t working, and I just had to smile at him.

A part of me wished that this was going to be more than just a one-time thing. A part of me wanted to be more than just his friend. But logically there was no way he’d want something like that, not with me anyway. “Let’s get cleaned up.” He nodded in agreement and I slowly took my legs off of his back. We both let out soft pleasurable sounds as he pulled out of me. The trickle of cum I felt go down my leg made me smile, eyes closed as I lay in my blissed-out state. I barely registered him getting off the bed and walking to the bathroom and back, bringing a towel back with him.

After we both cleaned ourselves off, he pulled me back onto the bed. “C’mon...let’s get some sleep, Spencer.” I couldn’t help the excitement that warmed my stomach whenever he used my name. I didn’t notice how tired I was until he pulled me close with his arm around my waist and my back against his chest. I still felt drunk, but the room and bed had stopped moving and I could actually relax.

“Mmh...goodnight, Derek.” I smiled to myself as I closed my eyes, sliding my hand under my pillow and meeting his as he put his arm under our pillows. Slowly, and almost timidly, we locked fingers. I didn’t mind being the ‘little spoon’, especially not when his body was so warm and comforting.

I could feel myself slowly starting to fall asleep, my heart rate finally slowing down and my eyes growing too heavy to hold open. I was right on the edge of consciousness and sleep, about to tumble over when I heard Derek whisper something against the back of my head.

“I love you...”

I must’ve been asleep and dreaming at that point, Morgan wouldn’t say that.

Would he?

****************  
I woke to the blaring ring tone I had set on my phone as my alarm in the mornings. My head was aching, and I felt like throwing up, the negative after effects of drinking heavily and neglecting to drink water or even eat. “Derek, where’s my phone?” I groaned out, only noticing then that his arm was no longer wrapped around me and his body wasn’t laying behind me. I sat up with a slight wince, my heart starting to beat a bit faster. “Derek?” I looked around, seeing my clothes still on the floor where they were discarded but no sign of Derek’s clothes. I looked at the bathroom door, the last sliver of hope that he was still here. But he wasn’t. The bathroom door was open, and the light was off. Suddenly it felt like there was lead in my stomach, my chest aching slightly. Of course he left. I knew that the previous night had just been a one-night stand, right? Why did I feel so...? heartbroken? Distraught? The backs of my eyes were growing hot and I could feel tears prickling at the corners of them against my will.

“Idiot...” I muttered to myself, the memory of him saying those three words repeating over and over in my head and the question: was it a dream or did he really say it? The sound of my phones alarm going off seemed muffled now, but I made myself get up and rummage through my pants to find it and shut it off. No new messages. No missed calls. I couldn’t help it, the tears just started to fall, and I sighed angrily. Why would he do this to me? Maybe it was my fault, I could’ve said no, I could’ve said that I can’t handle one-night stands. Then again... maybe I could, just not with someone I cared about. Did that mean I cared about him? I had never really thought about it before until now. The realization suddenly hit me at that moment I did indeed have feelings that were more than platonic or brotherly towards Derek. Damnit.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more to follow, please give me feed back on my writing for the characters and let me know how I did! <3


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